A few weeks ago, I was Skyping with my mum and my aunts. After they congratulated me on my new baby, they started talking among themselves about me, as if I weren't there. "She has gained a lot of weight, hasn't she?", says my first auntie. "Yes, a lot.", answers my second auntie. "She is still breastfeeding.", explains my mum. Then there was the encounter with an old Chinese lady from church. As soon as she sees me she exclaims, "Have you had another one?" and asks to cuddle her. Then she asks me if I'm breastfeeding. I proudly answer that I am. But then she says, "You shouldn't be so fat then, if you are breastfeeding. You've gained a lot more weight than when you had your first one."
Although I am quite used to the blunt comments in Asian culture, these incidents came as quite a surprise. But after the initial shock wore off, I was saddened by our culture's obsession with the perfect body.
After women celebrities give birth, all the tabloid news focuses on how they lost their baby fat. I heard that many Korean women refuse to breastfeed so that they would eat less and have smaller busts. Women are putting up slim post-pregnancy photos of themselves on the Internet only after a month after the birth of their baby.
It's easy to feel depressed about my muffin tops and huge busts in this kind of environment. But hang on, this body is responsible for the birth of my two beautiful children. This body nourished two lives in the womb, as well as out of the womb. This body bears the scars of it's work and will never be the same again. It is amazing what this body is able to do. I mean, did you know that my breastmilk constantly changes to meet the needs of my growing baby? During pregnancy, your pelvic bones slowly stretch to make room for the baby to come out. I praise God every time I think about how my body brought forth new life into this world. Why do we focus on only the outer beauty of our body when what it does is far more beautiful and amazing!
I refuse to be ashamed of my body. This is my perfect body and I will choose to defend it and even be proud of it.
Stretch marks = battle scars truly!
ReplyDeleteI want to eat healthy and be healthy, but be skinny and taut? Lose this floppy, loose apron? Have a perky bust? Only surgery can achieve that, and I don't feel the need to go there. I rejoice that my body can act as the vessel for nourishing and growing babies!
Psalms 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made: your works are wonderful, I know that full well".
ReplyDeleteThis has been my verse that I remind myself and my children of. We are who we are bcoz God want it to be. We are no accidents we are His workmanship and His Master piece.I am always proud of who God has made me to be.
I hear you sister. I understand may be bcoz I am Asian. I would rather feed my children than starve myself. I am always beautiful for my husband and that is all I ever have to think about. We cannot change what others see and say.
I know it is important to protect our girls from this silly world view on this body image thing it is so very damaging for little minds. this verse and many more from Gods word with help us along the way.
Always remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made and your husband and your children will see you in this way, that is all that ever matters.
Jemimah