Unrealistic Expectations

 "I am a sinful man......"

 This is what my husband said, right before he asked me to become his girlfriend. And this is also how he started out when he asked me to marry him. But at that moment, I was so starry-eyed by this mature and thoughtful man that I couldn't accept what he was saying. Of course, we are all sinful, but I couldn't find any fault in him whatsoever.

 I guess you could imagine the shock I got after we got married when this great man got upset over something trivial (to me, anyway), like how I did the dishes. And this is what Paul Tripp addresses in the first chapter of his book, What Did You Expect?. Tripp points out that often times couples are so convinced that the love they are feeling will get them through anything that they deny reality, which inevitably leads to disappointments.

 Tripp reminds us that we are living between the 'already and the not yet', and that means that our marriage will also be impacted by the brokenness of this world. In fact, the bible clearly shows us the state of this world in all its chapters. Tripp suggests that if we look at the bible as a whole, and not just the 'marriage verses' we will be able to gain perspective on what it's like to live between the already and the not yet and understand the things we need to face to have a wholesome and healthy marriage.

 Understanding the potential problems we face in our marriage that comes from living in a fallen world in our sinful state will help us prepare for them. But also knowing that we have been given a promise of provision from a faithful, powerful, and willing God should give us the courage and hope to face the grief and trials that await us.

 I still think Tim is extremely mature and thoughtful. But I also know that we both have weaknesses and sins that we need to work on. I am encouraged to know that God is working through our marriage to mold both of us into what he created us to be. And I hope we can both be used as God's tool of change in each other's lives.